Letter to the Editor: Veterans Day – A New Perspective

Submitted by Charles Alfonso of Langhorne:

With all of the well-deserved accolades given to our brave American soldiers on this Veterans’ Day, I am reminded of the following recent mind-opening exchange I had.

Just a few months ago, in the shower room (of all places!) at the YMCA where I go for my daily swim I ran across a young Marine (in his late 20’s?) who had just returned from his second tour of duty in Afghanistan and was soon to be deployed for his THIRD. As we talked about his experiences overseas our conversation became more candid and I felt comfortable asking him this: “With all of the Violence, Deception, Ambushes, and Hatred our soldiers face in such an extremist and primitive society, what motivates our servicemen to re-enlist time and time again to return to such a destructive and emotionally-draining environment?”

I anticipated that his response would be something politically correct like: “To protect America from further attacks,” or “To inflict deserved and final justice on those who murdered so many of us 12 years ago on 9/11,” or “It is my patriotic calling to serve,” or…

Among his various reasons, including all of the above, his final candid reason was the one which totally blew me away. You see… in the farthest recesses of my Logic what he told me would have never crossed my mind. After a long reflective pause he looked at me and said: “You know, Charles… During the also-violent Vietnam War, and after years of constant Hatred and Violence, our servicemen came home to an environment characterized by constant Rejection, Anger, Animosity, and yes… Hatred for what we represented to the average American. We were not welcome as heroes; in fact, we were in many ways despised. Our return to our homes perpetuated the environment we had become used to in Vietnam. The transition period of ‘adaptation’ was in a sense conflict-free… (another long pause) Now, we return from an equal level of Hatred and Violence to Adoration, Parades, Honors, Commendations, and Yellow Ribbons around oak trees… The environment and culture change, literally overnight, is too severe for us to emotionally adapt to. So, we carry with us this overwhelming ‘yearning’ for the Hatred and Violence we’ve become accustomed to half-way around the world. But we don’t talk about it because doing so would label us as nut-cases. So, we just re-enlist because we can’t handle this Welcome Home.”

WOW! I stood in absolute silence and shock next to this young Marine who had just exposed an emotional, social, and psychological TRUTH our society, Armed Services, and Mental Health professionals have apparently not yet recognized.

I then told my new friend: “But… you’ve just described the Armed Forces’ version of the bond some kidnapped victims develop with their abusive abductors…”

And he added with a sad smile: “Yeah… other than ours is a self-imposed ‘kidnapping’ and our ‘abductor’ is a band of immoral savages trying to destroy us.”

That memorable and unexpected exchange with my young friend in the prime of his life has stayed with me as the ultimate reminder of the unspeakable Evil of War, and how its long-lasting effect continues to destroy not only lives and families, but the minds and futures of its ‘survivors’ long after the conflict ends. The scars are too deep to heal effectively. My young YMCA shower friend has probably already deployed back to that infamous sandpit called Afghanistan and I can only pray to our Universal Destiny for this young Marine to find his way back home safe, healthy, and emotionally at peace with his horrific experiences on our behalf.

Yes… this Veterans Day and those to follow will have a special significance in my heart.